Sermon Based Small Group Lessons
Our American Idols: Our Kids
Dr. Les Hughes
November 9, 2008
Focus Passage
31"For
this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and
the two will become one flesh."[a] 32This is a
profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his
wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
1Children, obey
your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the
first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy
long life on the earth.” 4Fathers, do not
exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and
instruction of the Lord.
Outline of Sermon (The Life
Changing Lessons)
Opening Question
What is your greatest frustration in parenting? If you are not a parent, what frustrates
you most when you observe parents?
1. Les said
that we as a culture are pretty spoiled about getting our way all the
time. Do you believe this to be
true? Why?
2. Pastor Les
described the differences in a child-centered as compared to a God-centered
home. How would you describe the
characteristics of each?
3. God has not
put us in the lives of our children to give them everything they need, but to give
them what they need most: 1) a
relationship with their heavenly father, and 2) to allow them to see the example
of the marital relationship and therefore, Christ’s relationship to the
church (Eph. 5:25).
4. What are
the possible negative consequences of having a child-centered home?
5. The
marriage is to be the foundational relationship of the family. How can we make that happen?
6. If we
discover we have created a child-centered or partially child-centered
environment, what steps should we take to make things right?
7. You may be
in a child-centered home if children…
Interrupt
their parents
Use
manipulation
Dictate
the family schedule
Have
needs that take precedence over staff
Have
equal or overriding vote
Demand
excessive time
Escapes
consequences of their actions
Speak
to parents as peers
Are
entertained or coddled out of a bad mood rather than being disciplined.
Dominate
the family budget
Set
own boundaries
Wear
parents down
Force
parents to cook more than one meal
Believe
people exist to make them happy.
Which
of these do you struggle with most?
8. You may be
in a God-centered home if your children…
Joyfully
serve others
Cheerfully
obey parents (the first time)
Do
not interrupt
Not
always get their way
Work
their schedule around parents
Have
input but not equal vote
Realize
parents have other responsibilities
Suffer
consequences of wrong actions
Honor
parents as authority in the home
Esteem
others
Fulfill
household responsibilities (chores)
Not
be closer to either parent than the parents are with each other
Which
of these is the largest problem in your home?
9. Behaviors
in a God-centered home: (How to get
where you need to be.)
Choose
one of these to work on this week.
(Reread at the end.)
a.
Don’t discipline out of your anger
b.
Be consistent with discipline
c.
Don’t have double standards
d.
When you’re wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness
1. Acknowledge that you have sinned.
2. Be specific
about the sin.
3. Identify a change in behavior to insure
repentance.
4. Ask for forgiveness.
e.
Don’t constantly find fault.
f. Listen to
your child’s opinion and take him or her seriously.
g.
Don’t compare your child to other children.
h. Be fair. Don’t practice favoritism.
i. Make time to talk with your child.
j.
Praise and encourage your child when appropriate.
k.
Always keep your promises.
l.
Try not to discipline in front of others.
m.
Allow age-appropriate, progressive freedoms.
n.
Have realistic expectations
10. Take time to share about your children and how you
would like the group to pray for you and/or your child. Have a time of prayer together, or maybe
divide up into smaller groups to pray.
What will you do differently as a result of today’s
lesson?